I Guess the Queue Had an End (Temporarily)

Greetings reader. I say reader in the theoretical sense given there's little chance that anyone kept checking this site after realizing that nothing new had been posted in nearly a year. Poor to mediocre writing coupled with infrequent posting? Who would have guessed that this blog would not take the world by storm? However, I refuse to admit that the ten dollars I paid last month to renew the domain name was a waste of money so here I am adding content. I could name any excuse for the lack of posting: work, travel, social life, laziness, finishing novel, memory lapse on how to type. But let's not dwell on the past, simply admit that this is somehow your fault as the reader and focus on our relationship moving forward.

I did not stop watching movies in my ten month absence so I will attempt to throw the cinder block on the gas pedal and get caught up to speed with my current queue. Here are some of the highlights.

Dinner for Schmucks: I equate this movie to my feelings on Kevin Costner. I really wanted to like it but it just kept finding ways to let me down more and more. An incredibly talented cast with some of the best comedy actors working today who do manage to make some of the scenes enjoyable. Zach Galifianakis and Jemaine Clement (so good in the recently kaput Flight of the Conchords) steal a couple scenes but in a movie filled with a string of unfunny situational comedy that's not saying much. I would watch Paul Rudd reenact Gigli as a one man show but I don't know that I would devote my time to ever watching this in full again.....pre-1 AM. A stinker that hurts all the more given the wasted potential.

The Fighter: More about meth and unattractive sisters and less about boxing than I anticipated but I still enjoyed it as an underdog boxing movie of sorts. I had high expectations of Christian Bale's performance given that every talking head during awards season wouldn't shut up about it. He still managed to impress me.

Kick-Ass: Holy hell did it ever. An extremely entertaining superhero movie from a different perspective. I'm surprised it wasn't more warmly received by the public in the form of box office receipts but I'm hoping that a sequel is somehow in the works. It even inspired me to become a superhero although this was a giant failure. Apparently a costume consisting of a fanny pack and Old Navy Tech Jacket with the superpower of shrilly yelling "I'm telling my mom" while running away flailing doesn't strike fear into the scourge of the city.

Harry Brown: A geriatric version of Man on Fire with Michael Caine playing an elderly vigilante who's had enough of the young punks in the area lighting dookie on his doorstep. Yes, that's an actual catalyst in the movie. Granted the same teens also deal drugs, commit sex crimes and murder Caine's best friend but still, the flaming poo was the last straw. Standard revenge formula lacking a good ending here but Caine plays it so well that's it's still fun to take the ride.

Animal Kingdom:
Kingdom: Crime family drama
Phylum: Australian
Order: At least three "definitely didn't see that coming" moments
Genus: Ending that makes you want to watch the second half all over again.
Species: More proof I would last less than twelve minutes in a crime family with unsoiled underwear.

One last note on this one: Out of the three Australian actors Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman and Guy Pearce, how is it that Crowe and Jackman are huge stars but Pearce continues to wallow in relative mediocrity despite a solid filmography? Pearce alone makes this worth watching even if understanding the Australian accent is maddening at times.

Red: Bruce Willis plays Bruce Willis. John Malkovich plays a paranoid, violent and extremely funny psychopath. Mary Louise Parker walks around. You had me at "Bruce Willis dryly quips catch phrase before killing numerous thugs."

It's Kind of a Funny Story: Thanks to Zach Galifianakis it was kind of a funny movie. Teen-centric story that explores mostly familiar territory but from the eyes of a wrongly committed teen in a psych ward.

Due Date: Hopes were way too high for this one especially at the teaming of Robert Downey Jr and Galifianakis. It seemed like a half-hearted remake of Planes Trains and Automobiles. That's one movie that should never have needed a remake. The other movie I would say that about is Milo and Otis.....so my opinion means a lot.

And that brings us to my current queue. Let's see which total becomes higher: the number of people who read this site or the number of weeks it takes for me to update this again. Annnnnnnd.......go.